I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
