If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
