Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
