you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
