you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
