You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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