some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
