I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
