didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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