Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
