did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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