i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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