just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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