Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
