why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
