ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
