This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
