absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
