I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
