OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
