this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
