I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
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I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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