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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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• (818): View more from California

  She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times

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• (716): View more from New York

  HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?

  (716): View more from New York

  By the way, you're banned for life.

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• (213): View more from California

  I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.

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