got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
don't judge my taste in strippers
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO