On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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