Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
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Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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