we have pet lesbian snakes
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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