I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
