Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
