If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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