I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
