Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1
  Replies (35) Good night (651) Bad night (4989)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4489) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (3014) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested... http://tfl.nu/1qsg
  Replies (9) Good night (4033) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4
  Replies (1) Good night (2181) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass. http://tfl.nu/spz3
  Replies (24) Good night (6680) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both http://tfl.nu/fi30
  Replies (13) Good night (4283) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee http://tfl.nu/e993
  Replies (15) Good night (1814) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks. http://tfl.nu/40kn
  Replies (3) Good night (1604) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He's a Shit stain on my heart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): He's a Shit stain on my heart http://tfl.nu/9sgb
  Replies (11) Good night (679) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast. http://tfl.nu/cal2
  Replies (8) Good night (937) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore http://tfl.nu/ac46
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed. http://tfl.nu/1l89
  Replies (5) Good night (1108) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives. http://tfl.nu/8dyn
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Teach me the song of your people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow (1-304): Teach me the song of your people http://tfl.nu/wyqv
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (166)

Randomize