i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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