Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
