Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.