It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
