Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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