Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
