Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
