The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I showed him my bush... on skype.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
