I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
