how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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