I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
