i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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