Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize