At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
...so i touched it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
