so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
