bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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