Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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