I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
