just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
