In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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