was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
