I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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