Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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