I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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