Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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