I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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