Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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