they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
