I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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