i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
