K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
