why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
