He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"