Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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