Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize