had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
