I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
