so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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