I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
