so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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