real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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