Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We are two peas in an std pod
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
