Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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