HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
