if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There are leaves in my underwear?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
